good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize