Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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