woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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