fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
