I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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