so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
