that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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