Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
