I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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