I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize