So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
