i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize