I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
