Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He? As in you personified your dick?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
