Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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