I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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