Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
