i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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