so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
