She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
