one two three fourrrrnication!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
