I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
