i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It was like giving head to a cactus.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
