I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
