i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
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Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
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The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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