The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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