He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
