i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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