I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
