But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
dude. I can hear the air.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
