Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His nipple licking is glorious
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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