My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
