From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He shit in the fireplace
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