using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize