Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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