no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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