I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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