I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize