That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
