last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
