Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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