I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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