WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
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I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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