my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
this must be what syphilis tastes like
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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