if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I deserve this hangover.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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