She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
