My first STD was from a foam party
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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