We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
