I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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