so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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