Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
