omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
