He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
