party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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