You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
