So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
