i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
