***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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